Mistake

It was a mistake right from the start.

A mistake that I am still unable to grasp around.

A mistake that will cost me yet another high price that will have me traverse across the plains in solitude.

A mistake that will invoke past memories, and past miseries. To relive the pain all over again might be a good way to remind myself of my own stupidity and foolishness.

I need room to breathe. I need to think. I need to reset my focus. I need to prioritize. I need to see the bigger picture.

I need to be WITH myself again. I don't do well in large crowds, because I restrict myself to one purpose, to be there for others. Sometimes in all that commotion, you tend to lose yourself. And I have a very high tendency to lose myself.

I need to rest. I need to be myself for a while. I'm sorry.

I never knew how to let people in, and I never will. That will be the bane of me.