That Piece of Us

When I was little, and by little I mean young, childlike, but by no means was I little physically as I have always been a giant of sorts amongst my peers. Anyway, when I was little, I used to look forward to the heavy rain that Kuala Lumpur has not seen in such long a time. The rain used to pour down like a dam just collapsed and I always love to take in that fresh air that follows right after the rain. Is it me or the air these days is really not as fresh as it was about ten years ago?

How I long for those times, times when the biggest event in your world was your birthday, the most important people in your world were you parents only and you felt like you could soar the skies and you have not yet understood the full extent of death and evilness. That naivety is really something hard to come across now these days.

I miss drenching myself in the rain. I miss hiding underneath the pillows when the thunder rumbles. I miss jumping at the sight of the crackling lightning. Above all else, I miss being myself, ten years younger. Its as if once you past that primary school marker, you embark on a journey that is entailed with studies and achievements that will ultimately end with you getting out of Uni and working your ass off 9-5 everyday just to make end's meet.

No longer do we have the time to just dance in the rain like we used to. We find ourselves so conscious of how people perceive us that we dare not do the things that we secretly crave to do. Singing out loud, running around with your arms wide open, telling your parents "I love you" more than a hundred times a day. When was the last time you told your parents you love them? As we get older, these things get awkward to perform but if you think about it, there really is nothing wrong with these actions.

Ultimately, we are bounded by a set of adult rules, a standard that all of us wish to fulfill in order to relinquish ourselves from the title that we have carried in our childhoods. Yet, deep down inside, all of us, at least a part of us, screams in quiet desperation to reconnect with that naivety once more.

And then you look down, and you remember who you used to be...